My first love part 24 (the magical moment)

She was so excited about what he told, at the same time her mind warned her not to get excited. So she cleared her throat and tried to bring out the voice which stopped once he told her that he was waiting down to see her and asked him “what did you say?” he laughed heartily, her favorite laugh which she does not hear so often, and replied her “hey dummy, I know you would not believe it, but it will be better if you come fast, because there are so many girls standing down and discussing about me”. Anjana ran down to see him ignoring her mind’s warning and there she saw a silhouette which she was not able to see clearly as it was obstructed by the sun. After getting some more closer she saw him, the love of her life, standing there with his favorite ‘apache', a tall figure about six foot with a medium fair complex and a wavy black hair which was mildly disturbed due to the helmet which he was now holding on one hand with his mobile on another waiting for the response from her. She stood there still and everything around her came to a pause as if someone forgot to press the play button. She reluctantly went to him and when he flashed his smile she felt a tear rolling down her cheek due to happiness and at that moment her mind stopped working and her heart told her to do whatever she wishes for. 

She ran to him and hugged him so tightly forgetting the place and time and cried heartily on his shoulder. When he pulled her saw her face,  he told "Now.. You can breathe.!".  That was when she realized she has been holding her breath for so long and breathed out a relief. 

My first love part 23 (punishment)

It was never the same after her 'sorry'. He always expected her to say whatever she does before doing it. When she texted him first after the fight he lay down few sets of rules like 'do not talk with any class boys, do not go out without asking him, do not go to the theatre with anyone'.  He then told her "If you are ready to do all these then I will talk with you. Or else this will be my last conversation with you". Anjana did not know what to do when he wants to treat her this low. She wanted something or someone to hold and cry and drain it all. She then realized, she needed her mother's lap, to lay down and cry it all out. When her mother warned her, she did not listen to her and now she thought that she was being punished by God for disobeying her mother. Anjana has never hated her parents, she loved them a lot but never got enough love back and then she found a new source of care and affection in Suriya Prakash. But, he too was starting to behave like her parents and that only hurted her a lot.
She also knew that Suriya, who once was so caring and affectionate should be in there within him somewhere. She took an oath in herself that she will find him within him and will change his attitude towards her.
Even though he behaved harshly, her love for him never changed a bit, in fact she began to love him more than before. Each day her love was grew more then it was the day before.He was the one who made her laugh and cry at the same time. So she only showed love and only love to him whenever he makes her cry.
By her sincerity and love Suriya began to change by bits and pieces. He started to show his love for her and moreover he stopped smoking because of her. Anjana thought to herself 'how can I ever hate this man?' when he one day sent her a box full of love and chocolates. It was for her birthday that year and that was the most sweetest thing he has done after a long time.
Once their relationship was getting back to normal, Anjana was in her final year of her studies and he was going to finish his MBA course through correspondence and has got a job overseas. She was so happy for him, at the same time she wanted to meet him at least before he leaves. When she was about to call him and ask about outing, Suriya called her "Hey sweetie..!  What are you doing?"
She replied "At hostel only..!  You?"
SP "Me..  I am outside of your hostel. Why don't you come down?!"

My first love part 22 (sorry)

It was the most unbearable pain that she has ever experienced in her life. Never ever has she cried the whole day and night, continuously for 2 days. It was as if a part of her life has been ripped from her. Anjana thought about lots of things that have happened and things that she wished could have happened, that never saw the reality, like wanting to hold his hand and take a long walk under the light of moon,  a warm reassuring hug that she wants to melt herself in, a small smile on his face that she can just sit all day and admire at.

But nothing like these things happened.  In fact it has been 3 years of their love life and they never have had a proper date,  not even a single meeting,  except looking at each other from distance -when he wishes- once in a blue to come nearby her house and reveal his presence to her.  Those short moments of seeing him was like a treat for her, were she forgets all the hurt he gave her and lives in that moment for a while.

By the sound of the knock on her hostel room door, Anjana came back to the reality and found that her roommate, who was silently observing her all these while, knocked the door. Anjana's already chubby face was still more puffy and eyes were fiery red from all the crying that her roommate did not know as she went home on the weekend. Her roommate has been advising her a lot and told her to leave Suriya, because she was seeing all the sufferings that Anjana was in. But Anjana refused her friend's warnings and stopped talking with her as she was always talking wrong about Suriya, whom she never even knew in the first place.
It was Monday morning and Anjana could not go to college with this face, and so took another day off and was thinking only about him and she did not know how to call him, now that she was the one who called their relationship off.

It was all like a shattered piece of glass that could not be fixed. She kept on thinking what he will be doing at that time and whether what she has done was right or wrong. Every time when he calls it off she was the one to call or text him first and they both were back to normal. So she expected Suriya to call her this time, but only silence and rejection were received back. She came to know that he has the upper hand now as always.
She lost her hope and at the same time started worrying whether he was alright or not, because Suriya was the type of person who to relieve the tension would drive his favorite 'apache' at the maximum speed and sometimes get himself physically hurt to forget the mental pain. So she found the little courage that was left back at the bottom of her heart and texted him 'sorry'.

my first love part 21 ( the break up)

Author’s note: since few followers want me to end the story quick I am ending the story within few parts. Love you all. Thanks for the support.

Some people say past is past, present is present and future is not in our hand. Even though the statement is true, our past determines our future and we should correct our past to have a happy future. Anjana in spite of her mother’s warning started talking with him again, but it all ended in a fight that made her cry even more. Each time they fight she was the one to say sorry and correct their mistake. Each time she says sorry she feels inferior. What she did not want was happening, but he loved her so much that she could not leave him and go. One fine day when they were as usual texting he began to say her that “hey dear. I am sorry. Actually, to say the truth, I was a playboy at beginning. I did not have any intention of loving you truly. i only loved you for time pass. But you changed me into a new man. Your love redefined me. Your sadness made me love you more. Your chubbiness makes me think you are cute and makes me fall for you all over again. You are the one that I love truly now and I really love you a lot.”

What he told was so overwhelming and made her cry out of happiness, but somewhere inside of her-the evil her- made her think at that moment that whatever he told now was really or not? All this while he was a playboy. What if this was also a trick? But she disposed those evil thoughts and switched herself back to lover girl.

In middle of all these still his possessiveness did not waver even a bit, instead it has risen to a point where, whenever she talks to her class boys he started shouting and making a big fuss about all the things. He even sometimes threatens her that he will stop talking with her and breakup with her. She was worried a lot that what if he leaves him. But then too her evil side will think that it will be okay if he leaves her so that she could revive herself back from the biggest mistake of her life and make a good future with the man her parents show her. Even though all these kinds of thoughts come and go she never refuses to leave him.

Built one day all the fights piled up broke into a heated argument and he began to threaten her, but since she was used to it and wanted to get herself into a free world she first told “you leave me for Christ’s sake. I do not need you anymore in my life, I do not need to experience you torture. You already know that I started talking with you only because of the torture that I have been experiencing due to my parents. But now my parents are a little less strict than before, you have started to show your real you. Don’t make me hate you please.”

My first love part 20 (the first fight)

Everything is fine in the end, if it is not fine it is not the end. Anjana kept on thinking this line again and again while she locked herself in her room. After her mobile was taken away, her mother did not talk with her but heard her side of story with little patience and started to cry and gave her lots of advice and told that she would not be telling this to her father and sent her with a warning. Being unable to call Suriya from her cell phone, Anjana called him from her home landline number as she knows his number by heart. He picked up the call and asked why was her mobile switched off. She told him about everything that has happened and started crying again. She also told him to call her mother and talk, but he told "Hey darling. Don't worry. But I cannot talk to your mother now. I have to get settled in my life to talk to your family. So please do not compel me to talk to your family."
She did not know what to do now. So she locked herself in the darkness of her room which changes its mood according to her mood.
It was time to get back to college, so she told her mom that she was leaving. Her mother gave her the mobile back but with a huge warning. So Anjana tried not to call him, but could not restrain herself from him. So ended up texting him once she reached her hostel. Later he called and their first fight started. He told her that how will he talk to her mother like this all of a sudden. And she said back that he should have talked no matter what. And it continued till he cut off the call saying she was showing attitude and they both did not call back each other for next two days.

My first love part 19 (lovers)

It was March 10 2011, the day when they officially became lovers. Even though she did not know what to do, Anjana tried to do her best with him. They talked day and night about nothing much but teasing each other and sharing love. Whenever he says 'I love you' , her heart skips a beat. She did now know that this is how it will be to be in love. In middle of everything he was writing his last before semester in his college and Anjana studied hard to pass her 1st part of MBBS, as it the hardest part of the course. They loved each other so much and days passed, but they did not  meet each other or go out on a date.
It was a weekend and Anjana went home after removing her cast that was applied over her left hand. Removing it was the most relieving thing she has ever felt in her life, it was like coming out after a long time in an airless room and finally getting to breathe.
After going home, she as usually was by herself, and getting scolding from her parents. But the only thing that made difference was Suriya Prakash and his messages. But the thing was she was not able to talk with him day and night since her mother was always around.
And the next day when Anjana came back from bath her mobile was missing from the place which she kept before going to bath. She searched for it very badly everywhere, but it was nowhere to be seen. Then when Anjana went downstairs thinking who might have taken it her mother was having her mobile,  going through her messages. Anjana thought, 'thats it..  I am done.,.!'.
The glare that her mom gave was very frightening and Anjana started crying then and there. Her mother told in a silent angry voice "Who is it? I already doubted you when you were always in your mobile. You do not have any common sense at all. You proved yourself useless as usual. You dare to talk with a stranger and in midst of that you are in love.??" 
The word love when it came out of her mother's mouth, sounded as though it was the most disgusting thing that is available in this world.
She was not able to say anything to her mother. She did not know how to say her mother about her feelings. Whatever she speaks now will not be of any use.
Her mobile was confiscated and she felt helpless.

my first love part 18 (the decision)

Every day when someone gets up from their sleep, all their thoughts will be focused on how they are going to spend their day? How they will spend their day without getting their moods spoiled?

But there are lots of things that spoils ones mood each day like the bus coming late and getting us take scolding from the boss for coming late, the stomach that tells it is hungry when you do not have time to grab even a cup of water, the friend that irritates you when you are already sad, a dog trying to come behind us and trying to frighten us, the boy/girl friend saying ‘we need to talk’, the enemy who shows of when you are yourself sulking in a corner, the machine that gets stuck in middle of something, the big traffic due to an unassisted traffic lights, the mobile network which does not have any network at the time of need, the current that gets cutoff when there is no charge in our mobile and more importantly the bladder which is getting full every time like an alarm in middle of an important complicated procedure.

In middle of all these problems we all find happiness, the happiness that comes from inside of ourselves by thinking of some old beautiful memories, the happiness that comes from seeing a baby smile, the happiness that comes from eating our favorite food, the happiness that comes from others wishes and encouragement, the happiness from seeing the rain, the happiness from the drops of water from our shower removing away all the dirt along with all our stresses.

Like these Anjana found her happiness while talking with Suriya Prakash. He was the sole reason behind her happiness. Even when she was in worst of her moods she felt a sort of relaxation when she heard his soothing voice. He was like a rain in middle of the hot dessert, like a cherry on top of the cake.

So she decided to talk when he too was silent for a long time, “Hey…  I am very sorry that I did not cut your call and left without even replying anything, even to your message. I was so confused that whether all these happiness will last forever?! And I was also afraid that what will happen when I hurt you?! What will happen when my parent does not accept you?! Please do not talk while I am talking. I feel so vulnerable in front of you. You know all my darkest secrets. You know I am not used to all these kinds of things. You know I have never talked to a stranger before.  But in spite of all these I talked with you.even called you as my ‘brother’.. haha..!!! when I needed a shoulder to cry over, you were the only one who dried up my tears. But, what if you become the person who hurts me?! I thought all these over and over, but among all these thoughts there was this small thing in a corner of my heart which told me that I am crazy to be thinking all these when I have already fallen for you…!!! I fell for you long back Suriya. Yes…!! I love you more than anything I have ever loved.. more than the junkies that I love…!!”